Some updates/thoughts/ramblings from me today.

1. Eating healthy is both cheaper and more expensive.  It’s cheaper because I can buy ingredients that last for multiple meals for cheaper than a lot of processed stuff that lasts for one meal.  Like a tub of oatmeal for $3 lasts WAY longer than a box of Jimmy Dean D-lites for $6.  But it’s also more expensive as I try to buy some things more organic.  Some things are about the same cost as the non-organic counterpart.  But some others are way more.  I try to balance what I buy (looking at the dirty dozen) organic and what I just buy regular to help this out.  I also tend to buy things I will eat daily organic because I feel like so many exposures are worth the expense.


I Feel Pretty

So I’m having one of those days where I feel great. I don’t know why, maybe because it’s Friday? Maybe because this dress fits really nice on the hips (dangerous on the v though…I’m at work hoping like hell I don’t show too much). Maybe it’s because I crushed my insanity fit test? Maybe I’m just starting to feel better in my own skin because I’m taking good care of myself.

I gained a lot of weight, about 50 lbs, in about 4 or 5 months. That is fast, unhealthy, and just ridiculous. There is really only one reason – emotional eating. I really let a situation that was hard on my family break me down. It was really from trying so hard to be there and not show my emotions. I was trying to be strong because I felt I needed too because of everything going on. I let my healthy eating habits, my gym habits, my sleeping habits go to hell. I regret that. I do not regret being strong because I think that strength was important and necessary and vital. I regret not taking better care of myself and letting all the good habits I had nurtured go. I tried, many times over those months to get back on track but it never stuck.

Now I sit here almost 12 months from the point when my weight started on its journey back up the scale. I’ve lost about 30 of the 50 lbs I gained. I have a long way to go. Another 20 back to “zero” then another 60 or so to the finish line. But I’m doing the right things, eating the right foods, working the right exercise. I’m feeling like I’m on a good road, one that leads to finally doing all the things I have wanted to achieve for years. I feel good. I feel pretty.

3 Weeks In

Yesterday was my 3 week check in at Max Muscle.  How did I do?

Stats as compared to week 2 check in:
Weight: -5 lbs (yeah…I don’t know.  but I also don’t care and am happy!)
Body Fat: 41.1% (down .8%)
Excess Fat lbs: -4 lbs
Lean Weight: -1 lb

I don’t have all of my inches recorded from my sheet since she didn’t send me the update yet.  But I did lose basically everywhere except my forearm and my hips.  Those stubborn hips!  I lost over an inch on my thigh and I could tell before she even measured.  The last few days I have been feeling like my thighs look better, so it was interesting to see the tape confirm.

Leslie was really happy with my progress so far (duh, right?) and I don’t think she is going to update anything as far as the plan and what I’m eating.  I think it’s interesting that she thinks I’m hungry and I always tell her no.  I’m not hungry.  I actually struggle sometimes to eat all the food on the plan because I’m so unhungry.  I think it’s because most people assume that being big = eating TONs of food.  I didn’t eat tons of food.  I’m not saying I didn’t overeat, because I did have larger than necessary portions.  But every meal wasn’t a whole pizza or a snack of a box of doughnuts or a whole this or entire that.  90% of the time, I just ate the wrong stuff.  Like a Panera Sandwich and soup and cookie isn’t a ton of food.  But it still can be over 1000 calories in one sitting.  So food wise, I’m eating much much more at one time than I was before.  Also things like lettuce and fresh vegetables and oatmeal fill you up FAST.  Yes, I can probably eat half a box of captain crunch in one sitting with milk.  But I cannot eat that equal volume in oatmeal at all.  I spend less in groceries eating clean because of this and actually find it MUCH easier to stick to the budget.  I imagine once I finish stocking my spice rack and some other clean eating basics, I will be under easily.

Anyway, 3 weeks in, I’m down 8 lbs and a whole lot of inches…who can complain!  Still working on doing better, being cleaner, and being more active.  But I’m happy with these steps I’m taking and the results I’m seeing!

Breakfast Woes

Well it’s time to address the breakfast topic.

My nutrition plan requires the following for breakfast:
3/4 C DRY oatmeal (this used to be 1 C dry but I begged for some relief, this is what I got)
8 egg whites (can be subbed out with a scoop of protein powder with similar macros)
1 cup melons (although I do sub in different fruit b/c really, who can eat melon every day??)
These ingredients don’t really seem to go together all that fantastically.  At least to me.  But a quick google search showed me that these ingredients are very common in the bodybuilding and clean eating world.  So I sucked it up, and started working on how to make this work.  Especially considering I’m eating clean – so watching the sugar and sugary toppings for the oatmeal.  
Trial 1 – Cook up the oats and scramble up the eggs.  Verdict? HELL NO.  Not sure if you realize – but 1 cup of oats is MASSIVE when cooked.  That amount is what I normally would cook at home to feed multiple people.  And scrambled egg whites – uh no.  
Trial 2: Oatmeal Pancakes.  Verdict?  Better – but still massive.  I used some maple syrup on top to get through it (and didn’t have the fruit thinking the sugar would cancel…a little).  It’s a better option, but I only ate about 3/4 of this.
Trial 3: Oatmeal Cake.  Verdict? Okay so this chick said it tastes like cake right?  I think she needs to find better cake.    It was dense.  Like I ate 1/4th of the portion I was supposed to eat and was so full.  More choking down of food.  And it wasn’t cake by anybody I know’s definition.  
Trial 4: Give up and eat Subway.  Yeah – see I figured I could just eat a subway egg white flat bread and let the bread sub for the oats.  Pile with veggies.  Verdict?  Delicious of course – but I knew this wasn’t a long term solution.  It got me through some days where the thought of more oats made me want to throw people.
Trial 5: Protein Oats.   Protein powder mixed into the oats.  Verdict?  Not bad with some stevia and a banana mixed in.  But still too much.  The bottom line with oats is that 3/4 cup dry makes a metric ton of oats when cooked.  I still want to try egg white oats, but maybe when I’m down to a much lower amount of oats.  After this, I decided I will never eat oats again…I managed to eat about 3/4 the bowl.
Trial 6: Panera is healthy…right?  Breakfast power sandwich w/ fruit cup.  Verdict?  Of course it tasted delicious.  And again, like the Subway, it’s not sustainable.  But I think it was a good option for when I was desperate and tired and trying to keep myself from eating pizza for breakfast.  And guess what.  No effing oats!
Trial 7 (TODAY!!): Oatmeal Smoothie.  Verdict?  Folks – we may have a winner.  This is by far the BEST option I have found so far with my ingredients.  I made some modifications – used some 0% fat chobani, no honey, added protein powder, used 3/4 cup oats, a mix of strawberries/peaches/bananas b/c that was what was in my freezer, a little extra banana for creaminess, and used plain water.  Oh and a spoonful of chocolate PB2 because what isn’t better when it’s flavored with PB2?  Nothing, that’s the answer.  Anyway – this is the first time since starting this plan that I actually finished an entire serving of protein + oats for breakfast.  Accomplishment for sure.  This is a keeper.
So that is my story of breakfast tried and failed for the last 3 or so weeks of the plan.  Mind you, I’ve only been in town for about 2.5 weeks of the plan – so these 7 breakfasts happened over that time frame.  I really have been experimenting!  I pin a lot of my internet ideas on my Max Muscle Nutrition Plan Board, so follow me over there if you want more ideas or try anything and want to leave a comment.  I leave a comment on all of the pins (on all of my boards) if I use/cook them so if you check out an idea you will see my comments if I have any.  If you make something please share so I can learn from you!
I think my next idea is to run the macros on theese egg bake  and spinach quiche recipes.  I’ve had the egg bake before and LOVE it.  If it fits, it’s a good keeper to rotate.  I also think quiche is a good fit for breakfast and will be very filling in a decent portion size.  

We Have Lift Off!

This week was SO overwhelming at work, whew.  The bosses were out so I was acting person in charge and I was insanely busy.  I like management and I like running projects – but since our team is a team of 3 and 2 were gone – I had basically no backup staff for our biggest issue.  Add to it that I’m the lead engineer and pretty much deputy anyway…I was busy.

But I did take care of myself!  I worked out (although I did have an unplanned off day due to a storm induced power outage that made me wake up about 45 min late), I ate on plan, and I generally went to bed on time.  I also added in my first weight work out back yesterday!  Oh how glorious it was to get back to lifting.  I lift in a cardio manner – meaning I move pretty fast between sets and add in cardio every once in a while to break it up (jumping jacks, high knees, mountain climbers, ect).  This allows me to still get a good total calorie burn while lifting heavy.  Yesterday was an upper body focused day and I can tell how out of shape I have gotten.  I used 15 lbs at the gym and I was SO SORE the next day.  I looked back at my logs and I used to do that same workout with 20/25 lbs.  Exercises with the cable I was doing with 50 lbs I was down to 30 lbs.  I definitely have some work to do to get back to old form and that shows how much strength and muscle tone I have lost over the past year or so of doing cardio first and light weights.  It is also a reminder of why my clothes still don’t fit the same as they used too. My body is much less toned and defined and that’s why I’m bigger inch/size wise, even at the same weight. I’m going to sit down and plan with my fitbook,  but I think I’m going to start off with 3 days a week of lifting and alternate between upper and lower.  I don’t need to break my splits out any more than that yet.

Speaking of the gym, I’m a little frustrated with them.  I signed up for the 3 session personal training package deal because of the awesome intro price.  I STILL have not heard from the trainer about setting up my sessions and it’s been almost a whole week.  I was looking forward to having some really butt kicking sessions planned and it’s annoying how slow they are to plan.  I know it’s a new thing, but still, if you say you are going to call people to set up sessions, then you should call relatively soon.  It makes me want to cancel because it’s not like I *need* a trainer.  I can kick my own ass very well.  But I wanted the push and it taking this long to get even the first contact is making me weary of the whole thing.

Okay in other news – Sunday prep day!  And boy did I prep.  My dishwasher is on the 3rd run today already.  I made:

Erika’s Chicken Salad
Pork Chops w/ Apple Chutney
Jucy Lucy Turkey Burgers

All of these fit right into my nutrition plan with some additions (veggies and maybe brown rice).  I had a pork chop for lunch and oh sweet mother they were incredible.  I haven’t tried the other two, but those pork chops are a definite keeper recipe.  I have another recipe on deck (honey ginger stir fry, which is not online) for later in the week for dinner.  I also have some meat set aside for sandwiches later in the week for lunch.  I’m all prepped.

This post is getting ridiculously long so I’ll stop here.  But I am going to post about my breakfast woes soon. That is really a problem for me I still need to solve.  Perhaps you all can help 🙂

2 Weeks In

Tuesday night I had my 2 week check in with Max Muscle and my nutrition plan.  Want to see how I did with 2 weeks of eating right?

Weight: -3 lbs
Body Fat: -.9%
Fat Mass Lost: -3.78 lbs
Lean Mass Gained: +.78 lbs
Chest: +1 in
Waist: -.5 in
R Bicep: -.25 in
Hips: -.5 in
R Thigh: -1.75 in

Note that initial measurements were in the morning wearing sweats and now I check in at night after work and eating 4 meals of my 6 wearing my usual layers on top and fitted thicker leggings on the bottom.  So the measurements are hard to read into a lot considering I know my clothing was very different.  I’m going to consistently wear the work clothing from here on out so that should help.  I’m most excited about the almost 4 lbs of fat that I’ve lost.  That’s more important than the 3 lbs on the scale because that means that I’m actually losing fat – not just water weight and muscle mass.

I’m pretty pleased with this info and it was exactly what I needed after a rough day.  I was really down on Tuesday and seeing that my hard work is making a difference really helped me perk up and have the motivation to keep it moving.  My nutrition coach made some tweaks to my program – dropping the overall calories a bit (about 200) and bumping up my protein for a few meals and down on the carbs.  I’m happy about those tweaks because I do struggle to eat all my food sometimes.  I also get BREAD for lunch – hello sandwich 🙂  I still have sweet potatoes that I made before I got this tweak so I’ll probably have those this week, then next week I can have a sammy and salad for lunch, nice and a few more options open up for sure.

Okay I’m beat – I just knocked out an Insanity workout (Plyo Cardio Circuit) and now I’m going to get ready for work.  I have a meeting up north and I’ll have possibly the afternoon to work at home meaning I can finally knock my laundry out while reviewing some documents and answering emails.  Multi-tasking is my thing 🙂

Just One of Those Days

I’m feeling very blah today.  Low energy, low motivation, low everything.  I’m trying to manage it better than I usually do by actually sticking to my meal plan and exercising.  But it still sucks.  It is just hard sometimes to continue trying to be the best Kim I can be when I feel like I’ve been trying for so long.  I started my first diet ever January 2000 – Weight Watchers.  That was 12.6 years ago and I’m about 45 lbs heavier now than I was then.  And way less happy. Back then I thought I was cute.  Thought I was fine.  It wasn’t until my parents told me I was overweight and started me in Weight Watchers (I was only 17 and in high school) that I even thought I really should diet.  I’m not delusional – I knew I wasn’t skinny.  I knew I couldn’t shop where some of the other girls shopped.  I just didn’t care.  Not like I do today where it consumes me.  I’m not saying my parents shouldn’t have done what they did – they did what they thought was best.  I just think that maybe I was better off mentally where I was 12.5 years ago.  And I definitely was better off physically being that much lighter than I am today.

But the point of this isn’t to lament my senior year of college at a smaller but still big size.  It’s to say that I’m tired.  And I’m exhausted.  And I’m weary.  I’m in the throw in the towel mode.  I haven’t – although I did have a cookie at a meeting which is a no no.  I just am tired of feeling sacrifice without the reward.  Tired of feeling like I am giving but not getting.

That’s really the thing with weight loss, isn’t it?  It’s one of the few things in life where your actions don’t translate directly into results.  What I mean is that I can’t eat x calories or this meal plan for 7 days and exercise to burn x calories and know that I’m going to lose x lbs.  I don’t know that formula and the math seems to not work out from where I sit.  I know that if I do the right kinds of things I should not get and bigger for sure.  And that I should lose some weight eventually.  But I don’t always get to see those results after a hard week.  And sometimes the scale goes up when you KNOW you have been busting your butt.  Then it drops when you have been meh with the program.  The scale tells you your weight that morning yes.  But there is no real thing you can do to know that yesterday was a good day and if I repeat that tomorrow I’m on the right track.  I honestly think that’s why we become scale addicts.  We want.  No, we need something to tell us that yes, this struggle is worth it because we lost a lb!  Weight loss has no measuring stick or tape or crystal ball that vindicates us and makes us feel like it is worth it because the light seems oh so very far away.  Maybe people new to the fight can do it.  But for a veteran like me, it’s very dark and without anything immediate to feel good about it’s a struggle to stay motivated.

So what do you do?  Me I’m trying to rally the friends and trying to set new goals.  I’m meeting with my nutritionist with a check in this evening and I’m also going to re-boot my exercise program.  I’m going to try to keep working to find that happy medium that keeps me happy, sane, and moving in the right direction.  I’m not going to give up.  I will whine a little.  I won’t binge.  I will sulk and write long blog posts.  But I won’t turn to food or the couch for solace.

Back on the Grind

Back home after a long time away.  7 days – 5 flights, 3 stops (including a short layover at home 🙂 ) and I’m happy to report I weighed in one lb lighter!  I worked my hardest to stay on track while I was gone by picking options that were as close as possible to my nutrition plan, hitting the grocery store when I got to town, and exercising as usual.  It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t always fun, but I did my best.  I did have a couple of drinks while on vacation (because really – frozen rum drinks under palm trees is kind of necessary).  But I didn’t go crazy – I mean literally a couple – one on Friday and one on Saturday.  I was frustrated at times for sure – it’s not easy to drink a protein shake when your hubby is eating chocolate cake.  It’s really really frustrating.  But it was really nice to come home and see that through all that I managed to lose a lb.

So back home.  I took this AM off from exercise because I was EXHAUSTED this morning.  After sleeping in and sleeping on my flights and sleeping on the beach –  waking up at 5:15 just wasn’t happening today.  I think that’s ok – rest is as important as everything else.  I’ll be back on Insanity in the morning and I spent last night grocery shopping and prepping food for at least the first part of the week so I could get back on it food wise.

I’m STILL struggling with the egg white and oat situation.  I made a “oatmeal cake” and it just wasn’t good. I think I just will stick with egg whites and tortillas or oats with a protein shake.  Eating them together in the ratios I’m supposed to just doesn’t work for me with the recipes I’ve researched so far.

The Traveler

Hitting the road for a few days of work followed by a few days of fun.  I’m so ready.  I travel about 1-2 weeks a month typically for work and maybe once every other month for fun.  I’ve been in the office for 3 straight weeks and I’ve had a massive case of cabin fever so the timing for all this is perfect.  Not that work is any easier on the road – but it’s just nice to get away.

That said – it’s not time to get away from the plan.  I’ve lost a lot of weight week one of the plan (6.6 lbs!!!!) and I know if I want to keep that off and keep it moving I have to keep putting in work.  And yes, I know that I won’t lose almost 7 lbs every single week (or ever again most likely) but I’m enjoying the first week of the nutrition plan + the first week of insanity double wammy on my scale 🙂

So what’s the plan?

1. Insanity!  The beauty of Insanity is that it is a cardio only program that requires no equipment.  So I’m bringing it with me, at least for the work portion.  The fun portion is with my hubby, so I probably won’t be able to hop around the hotel room at 6am without risking divorce so I will most likely take it to the hotel gym.

2. Folder of knowledge.  I have a folder that has my Max Muscle Nutrition plan, Insanity schedule, the Dining Out Guide from Fitbook and some other general info from the nutritionist.  I’m not at home but I can strive to order as close to the plan as possible and I can use the dining out guide to help me navigate situations that are hard.  I won’t be picking the restaurant for a lot of this trip, so it’s vital I have a game plan.

3. Workout gear.  Goes without saying – but unless it’s literally an overnight there and back trip, I always carry my shoes, fitness clothes, and sports bras.  For a trip for this long where I have multiple workouts planned, I bring 2 sets of clothes so I can rinse out and hang up to dry between workouts.  It’s impractical usually to bring more than 2 full sets and have room for everything else I need.

4. Fitbook.  I know, I’m a junkie.  But it is the best food/fitness journal ever.  I plan on doing my weekly wrap up and plan tomorrow AM on my flight so I walk into my first meal out of town (lunch w/ coworkers) with a fresh plan in my head.

5. Smash Inspiration Book.  I’m a scrapbooker and I bought a smash book a while back because it was the craze on all the boards.  Yeah I got sucked in.  But I didn’t know what to smash.  Well the other week I decided to make my smash book my vision board.  This way it’s easily portable and I can have it with me to look at when times are rough and when I need extra umph to keep it going.  Also if something strikes me when I’m on the road, I can just throw it in there.  The smash pens have a glue stick on them – so it’s very portable.  This, like my folder of knowledge, are mental crutches.

6. Bag o’ Food.  Yep, I’m one of those people.  I have a bag with a small container of protein powder, blender ball, protein bars and my vitamins.  I am going into many meetings and I will go straight from the airport to the first meeting.  I can’t bring perishable food with me and as you know, you are very limited as to what can go through airport security.  Real food is best for sure – but if I’m stuck and the option is a vending machine or my protein bar – which one will keep me on track?  Obviously the bar.  I’m going for a general be prepared situation.  My flight is extremely short so I don’t have to pack a ton to eat on the flight which keeps my carry on situation manageable.

I’m going to lay out my travel day plan tonight in my Fitbook.  I need to finish packing and then get to bed.  And also confirm my flight time…because I’m honestly not sure right now which is a serious problem.  I also have a few housekeeping tasks to finish – I can’t leave out of town without making sure the trash is taken out, dishwasher is run, and things are just neat and tidy.

Yikes…that’s a lot to get done and very little time….g’night!!